The Do NOT List

I know this much: I did find someone fitting my Peruvian List and I did find someone fitting my London List. It is possible that, as amazing as my lists were, they may not have been fully comprehensive. While the Updated List is still The List, I think adding some experience-based not-to-dos might help. Attractive as the following behaviours are, they may just not be my thing:

- Texting the afternoon of the night we're supposed to meet suggesting canceling and meeting the following day to watch football may not seduce me entirely. Maybe if you suggested watching skiing..

- Informing me you really like me but monogamy is just not your thing is original, but nor my cup of tea.

- I equate a dinner date to a major threat. Can we not do that until we're married and then you'll just have to deal with my inability to find my mouth with my fork? 

- If you spend more time in the gym than with friends don't tell me.

- If you are more concerned about your looks that I am - it's great we've reached such gender equality, but really.. no, thanks.

- I'm totally happy with you being a ruthless banker/consultant. I don't know what to make of you telling me how amazing my job is and that you'll be calling my company to get a job because you can offer x y and z. Stick to making money, really, it's ok.

- Don't comb your hair back. Just don't.

- Don't smoke. It's almost as bad as combing your hair back.

- I don't care about your exes (even though I would like it if there were less that 73) and I can assure you you don't care about mine.

- Lame text messages are lame. Games are lamer. 

- Lack of responsiveness/falling off the face of the Earth make me go: of course. Next, please.

- Don't talk to me if you're about to move to the other side of the world. Or even better: don't move to the other side of the world.

- No need to hold my hand when you're talking to me: I understand English. Or Italian, as this seems to be more of an issue. Happy to learn other languages, if that helps.
- And, ideally, in a hypothetical fantasy world, you would not fall off the flat face of the Earth.