The Appendix on TEXT MESSAGES

I said I would add an appendix on text messages to Facebook and The Art of Seduction, so here goes. Maybe Appendix is an overstatement.

Thanks to the Banker with the Bicipitiello and the Friend Who Likes Everything That Breathes (Especially My Close Friends), and a few other generous contributors, recently I've had the chance to extensively practice my texting skills. Now I know that:

1) I need a new phone, ideally one that picks up in what language I am writing, so that I can use that hi-tech T9 thing, and spend less than half an hour composing a text.

2) I find the text style 'R u goin2c him l8r?' just too classy. Who can resist a man who writes like that?

3) I am worried. 2007 brought me Phone Therapy Man. He wanted to talk to me on the phone for hours every day, and never hang out. 2009 brought me The Emailer. He sent me an average of 7 emails a day and refused to go for a coffee. 2010 is bringing me Text Message Man! Even the amount of technological long-distance communication they want is decreasing! What next?

All in all, I get great joy from the deep and insightful texts I receive daily. Here are my two favorite texts of today:

#2. From the Banker with the Bicipitiello: Hi. How are you. I've been working really long hours. I'm working all the time. How's your job? I didn't think I'd work such long hours.. [Who'd have guessed bankers work long hours!?]. My response: Oh, the banker's life! :P etc etc. This unfortunately doesn't put him off from texting back.. again.. and again.. but never suggesting meeting. I might have to write the Good Friend With Benefits manual for him.

#1 (and one of my all-time favourites). From the Friend Who Likes Everything That Breathes (Especially My Close Friends): I have post partum depression! I respond asking what he gave birth to, hoping to a genius idea. Unfortunately that's not the case: he wants to see my friend, but doesn't think she's interested. I don't respond. I might have to write the Good Friend manual for him.

Maybe my phone will just accidentally fall in the toilet tomorrow morning!