Love DIVERSITY

One of the best things about living in London is its diversity; particularly the wide range of sociological samples it provides. Here’s a few of the urban specimen that I’ve had the good fortune to come across (the most interesting cases successfully fit into up to 5 typologies):

- The PHONE THERAPY man. He calls every day, at least once a day. Ideally after 10pm, generally closer to midnight. We talk for hours and if he is in a bad mood he feels free to hang up on me or yell at me – he thinks I’m his (free) therapist. Phone companies love us, as we each give them about £10 a day. We occasionally even see each other in person.
- The FLEXIBLE type. He likes me, he likes my friend. Women are beautiful, why be picky?

- The EMAILER. He starts every morning between 9 and 10am and carries on all day long. He writes about how sensitive he is, only to answer “you’re talking shit” when I suggest getting coffee. I must be crazy to suggest an interaction outside of cyberspace!
- The INTERCONTINENTAL CYBER-FLIRT. He’s in Canada, I’m in South America, any better ways to spend our evenings?

- The ITALY-OBSESSED type. He takes interest in me under the deluded impression that I am a good example of Italian woman. Typically he expects me to teach him Italian or asks me to marry him for my Italian passport.
- The MACHO. He doesn’t hide the fact he has a girlfriend, because honestly – how could a man like him have only one girl at a time?

- The CAN’T-KEEP-HIS-HANDS-OFF-ME type. He plays with my hair and holds my hand every time he talks to me. He even repeatedly suggests we hang out. He’s interested? Oh no, you naïve little thing! His behaviour is firmly grounded in the belief that I don’t understand verbal communication.

- The ALCOHOLIC. Girl or beer? Is that even a question?

- The VANISHING ACT, also known as the faller-off the flat face of the Earth. There are so many of them and one thing they don’t lack is originality: they all have different tricks. The standard format requires the vague planning of a coffee/drink meeting and its non-confirmation. I think I’m making progress though, because recently the Act took a new form: the postponing of a precisely planned meeting to an undefined time in the future, followed by the Vanishing Act.

- The GLOBETROTTER. He’s worldly, he’s cool.. he’s moved to a different continent.

- The GAY guy. A man can change his mind!