Personality traits

Important discovery that may come in handy when going through life: Loser and Asshole are not mutually exclusive personality traits. I owe this discovery to the one who 'doesn't want a relationship with me but his offer of being friends with benefits still stands'.

12 = 27

Back in Italy for a few days and going through my old journals I noticed that I was very sweet and romantically inclined when I was 12 or 16. I was also already meeting the EXACT same type of men who "really like me but" (it's always good to start young!). Thank God a much nobler virtue, sarcasm, has replaced the sweetness of my youth. It makes everything a lot funnier ("some people are lucky and meet the man of their lives at 15, the rest of us have funny stories" cit.). 

Otherwise, just like when I was 12, I am apparently incapable of:

- Carrying out a simple conversation with someone I (inexplicably) find attractive

- Maintaining my normal face color while saying hi, bye and other very personal things

- Avoid getting myself in absolutely embarrassing situations where I look like a complete idiot

- Getting all the above mentioned nonsesne out of my mind

The up side of ball-less men

The benefit of a man without balls is that you never have to worry about him getting in touch when you don't want him to. What a relief! He seems to be providing relief after relief: doesn't want a relationship, won't attempt to contact me.  

Sweet! (Deal, not him).

Movie wisdom

"What you feel only matters to you. 

What you do to the people you say you love is the only thing that counts"

- The Last Kiss

It's time for Africa

How do I to choose??

One cared SO much about our friendship that  his crazed hormones just had to take priority. Another one had got a girl pregnant while messing around with me. 

Oh, fuck it - AS IF I cared, when there are cupcakes in Boston and it's spring in London!

Friends with benefits

So he's been hitting on you, flirting with you, paying for everything for you from dinners to taxis to drinks, making indecent proposals when drunk (and occasionally when sober), texting you at every hour of the day and night, calling you withing 20 seconds of every time you text him, occasionally saying and doing things that are so nice they leave you speechless - for ONE YEAR? 

And did everyone around you think he was really into you? 

And did you in your deluded state also entertain that idea after he told you he wanted to spend the evening alone with you, and then when standing outside your door said he would like to kiss you? 

Well, my friend, you are obviously from a different planet. On planet Earth all the above mentioned behaviors means he would like to offer you the privilege and honor of being his friend with benefits. And that's really a though one to turn down! (Don't know how I managed!)