Is this too much to ask?

Cheesy is back!

Allow me my moment of cheesiness, sometimes you need some good old cheesiness to restore the balance after a few months of cynicism.

2 and a half weeks of online dating and I'm just overwhelmed by the amount of dates I've been on... You guessed: ZERO. Not only I haven't been on dates, I haven't made it past stage 1 of 'guided communication', which is when I send seemingly interesting people 5 pre-fabricated questions, to which they regularly don't answer. 

I did get an email from someone who decided to skip the 'guided communication' and formulate his own sentences. I appreciate the effort, and I've rarely been so flattered (in fact, no had had ever called me very awesome before!), but I'm left questioning whether formulating his own sentences was really the best choice: 

Dear Erica Hi doing ?U looking very awesome and beautiful with your genuine smile,I want to get to know u more,am interested in you,if you can give me chance, to get to know me better ,i will be glad. Mike

...But then it apparently only takes a semi-sweet email (or two) and a bit of Africa/Latin America travel planning with someone who charmed me with Malawian sunsets and his way of being a white-man-in-Africa... and the cheesy mode kicks in. SWEET!

Positive thinking

Problem, (lack of) Solution

Problem identified: my list can be narrowed down to one single - and virtually impossible to locate in London - item:

Must be a culturally confused aid worker. 

(I doubt anything else will do).

Solution NOT identified.

List revision

I found someone who:

- Speaks 5 languages (or more, I can't keep up)

- Loves to travel and travels like a maniac

- Is London-based

- Has tons of interests and initiative: he likes to do stuff and does it (stuff does not mean drinking himself into oblivion in various places)

- Is social and capable of applying the right behaviour to a variety of social settings without external guidance

- Is straight, not a member of the clergy, funny, smart and can have intelligent informed conversations

And.. I'm not interested.. which can only mean I need to produce a new list:

- Must be an expat aid worker, must charm me with knowledge of exotic places and things, and must be idealistic beyond reasonable measure.

I might just be in the wrong part of the world...

Ideas wanted

If anyone has any innovative ideas, please let me know asap. To date what I have tried* includes, but is not limited to, the following:

- Speaking to the guy in question

- Not speaking to the guy in question

- Calling/texting

- Not calling/not texting

- Emailing/Facebook messaging

- Not emailing/Not Facebook messaging

- Stalking online

- Not stalking online

- Asking the guy out

- Not asking the guy out

- Trying to get the guy to ask me out

- Blushing

- Not blushing

- Being uninterested

- Being mildly interested

- Being somewhat interested

- Being interested

- Being very interested

- Being obsessed

- Being in love

- Being nice

- Being a bitch

- Being a friend

- Not having sex

- Having sex

- Knowing the guy well

- Knowing the guy a bit

- Not knowing the guy's name

- Knowing the guy's name

- Not knowing the guy's face

 And because you shouldn't limit yourself to a type, what I have tried includes but is by no means limited to:

- Coworker

- Classmate

- Friend of friend

- Friend of brother

- Person met randomly

- Expat aid worker

- Indigenous person in aid work land

- Italian

- Italy obsessed

- Uninterested in Italy

- Unable to locate Italy on a map

- Illiterate

- Literate

- With a master's degree

- Private sector worker

- Public sector worker

- Development worker

- White, black, Asian, Latino

- Rich, poor, no notion of his income

- Monolingual, bilingual, multilingual

- The full range from turn-around-in-the-street hot to turn-around-in-the-street ugly

The list goes on but quite frankly it's not improving my mood! :)

The 'type' & the dead fish look

Episode #1:
- ...and I have no idea why I was so fascinated with this guy!

- How many languages does he speak?

- Uhmm.. he runs a language school..

- ...

Episode #2:

- Did you want to go outside with the guys and I'll join you later?

- No, it's fine, we can go later

- Did you like the guy?

- Which one?

- The tall one

- Uh? No! What? You're making stuff up!

- ...

- How did you know I liked the guy?

- I don't know, just the dead fish look behind your sunglasses

- Ah, right...